I find myself being propelled into the future, unsuccessfully struggling to hold on the past, not wanting to forget the baby firsts, the smells, the sound of their baby voices, unable to take pictures to capture every little (but precious and so important) moment, and I am beginning to understand that rather than try to save them, I need to savor them. Life continues to go at warp speed and hopefully, even if several years from now, I will be able to sit down and collect myself long enough to put together family albums, Ella's baby book, etc. But for now, I will just try to keep up and savor, hoping that if I do, the memories that I am so desperately to hold on to, will really cement themselves into my mind and heart. For example...
Ella is walking and talking up a storm. She is a different child than she was last month. I asked her what she was doing the other day and she responded, "just playing." Just like Jack does. It wasn't perfectly enunciated, but it was clear as a bell to me. Her newer words are "thank you," "yeah," "shoe," and "book." She loves books. She walks around carrying books. She wants us to read to her all the time and never has to be convinced to climb in our laps to read. The answer to every color question is "blue." And the sweetest little thing she does is say, "hold" with her little hands cupped together. She does this if she wants something you have, wants to touch something, is requesting and item, etc. Precious. Our pediatrician was so impressed at our last visit, saying how conversational she was. Ella is such a smart baby. And crawling is a thing of the past. She is a full fledged toddler. She started walking well around Easter weekend, falling less and less often as the weeks progressed. Just this past week, she really mastered the ability to wobble and not fall, catch herself if off balance, and turn in circles. I just love this little girl. Tonight, I asked her if she was ready to take a bath, and she said, "yeah!" and walked quickly into our bathroom asking for the colors, pointing to the colored bath tablets. I can't get over how quickly she became a toddler. Or how well she sleeps...
Which brings me to Jack. Poor sweet Jack. Why doesn't that kid ever sleep? in the last several weeks, we have created quite the monster. He no longer lets me sneak out of his room and Justin put him to bed. Tonight he protested and cried for nearly 20 minutes. When I'm in there it takes no less than 30 minutes, sometimes an hour for him to fall asleep (after rocking, tickling his head, rocking again), and then, like clockwork, he is up and being transported to our bed between 12-3 every night. Justin and I have adjusted pretty well to it, but it is far from ideal. This is one of those times that I wish I could talk to future Jesica. Not when I'm 60, because I know the advice will be, love on him forever, smother him with affection, and let him do whatever he wants, because this period of life is so short lived and he'll be gone soon. That would render me a completely ineffective mother. I need to talk to Jesica maybe 5 or 7 years down the road. She would give me some good advice for how to break this bad habit, if it's worth it. Hindsight is always 20/20. Either way, we've got to figure something else out. The poor kid needs more sleep, and I know his parents do.
Jack is otherwise and amazing, gentle, friendly, and all around perfect child. Okay, maybe he pulled his sister's hair today, but he's pretty great. He is so loving. I am so grateful for his affection. He would have me hold him and love on him and play trains all day every day. The weather has been warm so he and BB have been going to the pool a lot. Ella isn't a fan but the water is still a little chilly. He pretty much has the hang of potty training. He will pee in the potty every night before bath. I'm not trying to pursue consistent potty training yet, because it doesn't seem realistic. He's not three yet and would just backtrack after the novelty of pez candies wore off.
What else to say? I don't know. Hope everyone is doing well. Love you all! I will post lots of pics soon!
